A lot of things that didn’t make sense my whole life suddenly snapped into focus in March 2025. Why? I was diagnosed with Severe Inattentive ADHD and as Autistic, making me AuDHD.
ADHD was expected. My kids shouted out in unison, “Yes!” when I asked them last year if they thought I might have ADHD.
“You seem to zone out a lot.”
“You tend to jump from one project to another without finishing the others.”
“You say, ‘What was that?’ a lot when someone asks you a question.”
“You forget a lot of things.”
True. I forget appointments (not to the point that I miss them, but schedule over an existing one or fail to mention one to the person it affects). I jump from one organizational method to another without success. Easily distracted? Oh, yes. Like a raccoon and a shiny object.
My diagnosis was not too much of a surprise and brought relief. I could now really focus on asking for and working on support. Medication has helped immensely.
But Autism? I wasn’t fully prepared for that. Yet, it made so much sense.
- I’ve had hyperfixations my whole life – Lego, baseball stats, maps, comic books, building scorecards for different subjects, Star Wars.
- I have no idea how to start up a conversation, let alone hold one.
- Social engagements drain me the point of needing weeks to recover in some cases.
- I don’t like holding eye contact, but can hold it too long on occasion.
- I take things too literally, often missing a joke being made.
- Other people’s body language and facial expressions are hard to decode. Are they mad? Sad? Wanting me to ask them something? Are they flirting?
- I have trouble making and keeping friends despite a desperate need for friendship.
- Need for routine and feeling extreme discomfort when routine is interrupted or changed.
Some people who know me may have recognized these traits before I did. Others may be surprised. I’ve had 52 years to develop and perfect masks. (More about that in another post – masking takes a lot of mental energy, but unmasking takes even more.)
I am only sharing this to potentially help others. I have benefited greatly from other late-diagnosed autistic adults, and I want to pay it forward if I can.
This is also a chance for me to unmask. Be more like myself and feel less stressed.
Thanks for stopping by and reading my train of thought.
To be continued.
J